Bang, Bang, I'm In Love NOT

I promised I would fix everything first before involving myself into something. I was fine, perfectly fine. I felt mature in ways I could not even imagine. I let God inside my world again. I started to believe in life again.  I started to live life, again. For the longest time, I became very happy with the people I just met.

So there's this guy. His name is Makoto. I don't know where we stand in each other's lives but we are friends and we are happy like that. Or at least we were. I had this four-week rule and I told myself that if he would be able to get past it, maybe he's the kind of guy i should get serious with.

I met him more than a month ago and it all happened so fast. I never admitted to myself or to anyone that I liked him because I was not sure if there were any feelings involved at all. Maybe I was just curious and interested. Maybe I was enjoying his company. Maybe it was implied already. I don't know. I just don't know. There's one thing I am sure of: there are just two kinds of guys, a boyfriend or a friend. Nothing in between. 

We had our happily ever after but it ended so soon. We had fights and misunderstandings that complicated the situation even more. I cannot expect him to woo me and all because we just met. I know he would not understand but I just have these crazy days that I just feel like I wanna kill everyone. 

I read his tweets and blogs about me getting irritated at him all the time. For me, they don't make any sense at all. Was he informing me indirectly that he is backing off already? Okay? In my defense, I just wanted to make sure that he is gonna see the real me. I just wanted to express my feelings because I did not want to suppress any. I just wanted to feel the most heartfelt assurance that he would be there listening to my rants and that he would be there for me come what may. I just got disappointed because I did not know that's how he sees me. Of course I got offended that's why I unfollowed him on Twitter, intentionally. I didn't know that he was going to notice it. Technology makes the world so small. It also makes our minds narrow. Really. 

With those misunderstandings, many questions bothered me. What if I am not ready yet? What if I haven't recovered from my past life just yet? Is this even worth getting into? I just feel vulnerable knowing that I am letting emotions win over reasoning. 

Last week was the fourth week and I felt like we're growing apart. I am terribly longing for those days to come back, the days when we felt nothing but genuine happiness. They say it is all in the mind. Was it because of my four-week rule? Or was it a sign that we should stop whatever this is because it is not even there to start with?

A Sleepover to Remember

Yesterday, family came over and we had lunch at Trinoma. It is Daddy's birthday today so Kim and I bought him a gift. It was a polo shirt from Nautica. It was a bit pricey but it's fine with us. We started saving since June so we could buy Mommy and Daddy gifts. We asked Jan to fit the shirt and he also helped us choosing colors. We told Mommy that we got Daddy a gift and she was so mad at us because she said Daddy tends to be so choosy when it comes to polo shirts. The neckline and the colors are two important things. But whatever. I really got disappointed when we gave him the gift because he was like unappreciative at all. He said we just wasted money. All he wanted was good grades. It was raining hard and my parents thought the General Assembly would not push through anymore. 

But still, it did. So upon my arrival at the dorm, Kyvan and David fetched me. Gelo was not there when I got into Kyvan's car. He was a little bit late. We arrived early at the PICC, the call time was 6 and we got there at around 4. Dean sang Raul in the Phantom of the Opera. The night was really fun, the people participated really prepared for this night! It was a contest after all. The ISys lost but their presentation was really boring and not organized but we supported them. At around 10pm, they were not allowing students to get out of the hall because the rain was super hard and the streets were already flooded outside. They only allowed those with fetchers and cars. I was not really feeling well that time anymore. No sleep + colds + hungry. Nobody had paracetamol that time and I was really feeling cold already. Makoto gave me his food. Then I found a blister of biogesic inside my bag and I felt a whole lot better. How ironic! At around 2am, they started giving out foods. They gave us KFC but it wasn't really deelish, but whatever. People were so hungry then already. We left the place at 3am. We went to Kyvan's house to have a sleepover because he can't drive us to UST anymore since the water in Espana was super deep na. We watched The Conjuring and we can't scream and all because his parents were sleeping. I fell asleep because I was really tired and all. When I woke up, the movie was finished already. Then everybody started to sleep. Gelo and I were the only ones awake. I kept on waking Dean up but he's such a heavy sleeper. Then I fell asleep at around 6. Kyvan's mom woke us up to have breakfast. Then after breakfast, we played Rockband then I joined Kyvan and Dean as they played the guitar. Of course I can't play that so I was the one singing. Then we fell asleep as the other guys played Rockband. After having lunch, they drove us to UST and finally I got home! There was a relief when I got home but I felt a little clingy and I missed them already! These people are worth remembering ♥